
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/647007.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski
  Character:
      Derek_Hale, Stiles_Stilinski, Scott_McCall, Jackson_Whittemore, Lydia
      Martin, Allison_Argent, Isaac_Lahey, Erica_Reyes, Vernon_Boyd
  Additional Tags:
      Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Dark, Protective_Derek, demon, Possession, Future_Fic
  Collections:
      Teen_Wolf
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-01-20 Chapters: 1/? Words: 4316
****** can the broken be fixed? ******
by Xarlux
Summary
     Stiles has suffered another loss, something derek is awfully familiar
     with. derek only wants to protect Stiles, for he knows the guilt and
     pain he is going through. but someone or something might just take
     advantage of that when everyone least expects it.
Notes
     in memory of a loved one. its hard to say goodbye, but you'll make it
     though when you have the right people by your side.
Its raining as he drives to the hale house. He feels like the sky shares his
own emotions at the moment. Its gray, thunder and lightning fill the sky and
the amounts of water coming down barely let him see. But he has driven down
this path so many times, he could do it with his eyes closed.
It takes everything in him not to press his foot on the accelerator and drive
into a tree of off the side of the road into a canal. He’s been feeling worse
with each passing day. The guilt is consuming him. His head is burning, his
eyes are swollen. He would have never guessed it was humanly possible to cry so
much, not even for his own mother had he cried this much, which made him feel
worse and cry even more.
He finally reached the house. He didn’t even know if Derek would be there or
not. Maybe he would only find Peter lurking around outside and he would rip his
throat out, cuz that would be ok too. If not he was determined to wait there to
see what his fate would be.
He finally stepped out of the car, there was no one at the porch. He guessed if
there were any werewolves inside, they wouldn’t be able to hear or smell him
because of the rain.
He stood outside in front of the house for a few minutes letting himself get
wet, hoping lighting would come down and turn him in too dust, or hoping that
at least the rain would hide his tears. Standing there felt good, feeling the
rain pouring down on his shoulders. the cool water refreshing his burning face.
He saw the sky light up and he took the chance to scream along with the sound
of the thunder.
He dropped to his knees and let out another scream with the next thunder that
came along. He let his palms drop to the ground, his hands squeezed at the dirt
and wet leaves. The anger that had hit him momentarily just turned unto more
sadness. And without another thunder to accompany him he scream out to the sky
again and let his body drop to the ground. He thought if he stayed there long
enough he might get hypothermia and die, still hoping for the lightning to hit
him as well.
His body froze along with his sobbing when he felt someones hands on him. He
remained speechless, he just turned his face to meet dereks. He picked stiles
off of the ground and carried him inside, Stiles just let him.
Derek placed him on the couch and left the room, still not saying one word.
Derek came back shortly after with a towel around his neck and a second one on
his hand. He crouched down in front of stiles and begin to dry his face, like a
little child who had just come out of the shower. It comforted stiles, and made
his tears stop.
After a few moments of derek drying him, he finally stopped and got up. He
walked toward the kitchen, both still not saying a word. Stiles could hear
derek moving around things. He was too busy trying not to star crying again to
go check out what derek was up to.
Derek came back into the room with a mug, he handed it to stiles, it was hot
chocolate. Stiles opened his mouth to say thank you but nothing came out, he
looked at derek and nodded in appreciation, in which derek nodded in return.
Stiles took a sip and set it on the small table beside the couch. He unwrapped
the towel from around his neck setting it on the arm rest, and unbuttoned the
top three buttons of his green flannel shirt. He got up and stepped towards
derek, derek looking a little confused. He got up in dereks space, derek took a
step back but stiles grabbed him from his tank top to pull him close. Dereks
eyes went red and nose flared, along with a low growl that still didn’t escape
is mouth but stayed in his throat.
stiles grabbed from the collar of his flannel and exposed his neck to derek.
The growl and the glowing red eyes disappeared, derek looked at the young man
in confusion. Not because he didn’t know what he meant, but because he knew
stiles had never wanted it.
Derek just looked at stiles in the eye and placed his hand on his exposed neck.
He breath in and let the air out in a sigh and finally opened his mouth.
“I’m not saying no, but… not now. Not when you feel like this.” Derek said
looking at stiles with the most comprehensive and caring look he had probably
ever made.
Stiles eyes swelled with tears.
“please” stiles said, lightly, letting the tears finally fall. Derek pulled him
in for a hug. And stiles broke down.
Derek hadn’t hugged anyone in such a long time. Not since his sister, but he
was doing it now. He hugged stiles wanting to make it all better, wanting to
take the pain all away. He knew all too well what the feeling was. The
emptiness, the loss, the wanting to die, and over all the guilt that came with
it.
He hugged stiles like he wish someone had hugged him. He wondered why stiles
had come to him. He could have gone to the alpha pack who had offered him a
place in their pack already, it made him happy momentarily that stiles had come
to him. His attention returning to the young man and how much he wanted to make
him feel ok. How much he wished to give him everything and make him happy. And
strangely how much his wolf agreed, how much his wolf wanted to protect them
young man, to claim him, make him his. And even more strange, how ok he was
with it. But now wasn’t the time. For now he could only hold him, for he knew
no words, no actions, not anything in the world would help. Right now he would
stay like he was. It was all he could do.
❦❦❦❦❦
Stiles wakes up and rubs his eyes, he was in bed in a light room, white
comforter on top of him. The sun coming in through the sheer white of the
curtains, then he remembered, the last thing he remembers is crying while derek
held him. He doesn’t remember passing out. Right now he is kinda glad Derek
took the time to rebuild his house because god knows what stupid thing stiles
would have done if the house was still a torn down accident waiting to happen.
He tried moving out of the sheets, but his body felt heavy, it ached
everywhere.
As he tried getting up, Derek entered the room.
“stay in bed, your fever still high.” derek said looking at his with worry. He
had a plate in hand with chicken soup. He put the tray on one side of bed and
went around to help stiles sit up. Then came back around and placed the tray on
top of stiles.
“eat” derek said
“thanks” stiles replied, picking up the spoon. Before the food reached his
mouth he sat it back down.
“what happened” Stiles asked
“you passed out, melissa came by earlier, she said you hadn’t eaten or slept
since the funeral. She did a check up on you, and you got a fever, so just eat
and rest. You be fine soon.” Derek replied.
“ok” he said
Derek then moved to the side of the bed and opened his night stand. He threw
something in the bed and walked out. It was a tv remote. He hadn’t noticed but
derek had a tv in his room. After knowing derek for a little over two years he
never thought he’d be a tv type of guy.
He was glad he had food now, the last thing he had eaten was a small piece of
ham wrapped around with cheese that they gave out at the wake. That was 6 days
ago.
So he eats and closes his eyes again, trying not to over think why derek is
being so nice to him. But then that only makes him think more about Derek. He
had never seen derek hug another person, or thing for that matter. And yes,
they had been friends for a while now, saving each other so many times over
time, too many to count now, that the word friend now came out of both of their
mouths. But still, this would be something scott would of done. Except scott
was too busy with allison to even empathize with him over his loss.
He felt alone again, his chest began to ache like it was before, tears poured
out and he let out a scream into the pillow in anger and pain. He heard the
footsteps in the room but he didn’t remove the pillow from his face. He felt a
body sit on the bed right next to him. The pillow was removed from his face.
Derek was downstairs sitting in the couch, he rested his eyes for a second, he
had been worrying about stiles all night. Going in and out of sleep to check up
on him. After melissa came by he was finally able to rest for a few hours. He
was glad that Stiles didn’t wake up too sick and that he was finally eating. He
felt Stiles calm, it made him happy. He didn’t understand the sudden change in
feelings he had towards the young man, he knew what it was and he was happy
about it, but what was the trigger that made him feel so deeply for stiles, he
questioned. Was he just pitting him for his loss? His mind focused on stiles
again, his senses picked how calm he was, but that changed quickly. He heard
his heart rate pick up drastically. He could smell the tears and the stench of
deep and utter sadness reached his nose almost immediately. He heard a muffled
scream and ran up the stairs, down the hallway and into his room. Stiles was
covering his face with the pillow. He walked in and sat beside him and
uncovered his face.
It was derek, his face and eyes were filled with worry. He didn’t say a word,
he just pulled stiles into his chest and embraced him again. They stayed there
for a few minutes until stiles calmed down again. Stiles felt dizzy and it was
hard for him to breath. Derek laid him back down. And got up from the bed.
Stiles reached out.
“wait, don’t go.” he said weakly
“I’ll be back in a minute.” he said reassuring, with what stiles thought was a
smile on his face, he had never seen dereks smile before. Maybe he was
hallucinating he thought.
Derek came back into the room seconds after with a glass of water and a pill.
“what is this” stiles asked
“melissa left them for you, for if your fever started coming back up again,
which it is.”Derek replied
Stiles took the pill and drank the whole glass of water. Derek too the glass
and placed on the night stand.
“don’t go.” stiles repeated
Derek smiled again and went around to the other side of the bed and sat beside
him. Stiles just laid awkwardly beside him. Derek sank down into his bed a
little more and pulled stiles in. Laying his head on top of his chest and
letting stiles wrap his arm around him. They both fell asleep to the sound of
each others heartbeats.
❦❦❦❦❦
It was dark out when he woke up, Derek was not in bed anymore and he heard
voices coming from downstairs. He finally felt strong enough to get out of bed
and walk towards the voices.
The whole pack was downstairs. Erica, Boyd, Isaac, Jackson, and Lydia were all
cornering Derek. Scott and Allison sat on the other side of the room sucking on
each others faces too busy to notice the complete silence everyone came to when
stiles entered the room.
“hey” Stiles said and waved his hand weakly. He looked as worn out as he felt.
Lydia rushed to him and hugged him, being careful not to crush him from how
fragile he looked. Followed by hugs from everyone else, except Scott. He knew
Stiles was upset at him and he didn’t want to overstep or make things worse.
All he got from stiles was a nod.
“so what’s everyone up to?” stiles said
“its nothing to worry about, you just need to relax and get better” Derek said
“do we have a new big bad to worry about? And I’m fine” he said feeling
faintly. Then his knees gave out and everyone jumped to help him.
“you were saying?” Derek said razing an eyebrow
“so, big bad, what is it?”
“just another rogue omega, it should be taken care of by the end of the night.”
Erica said
“lets hope so.” Isaac said with not too much hope In his voice.
Derek went into the kitchen and brought stiles more food. The pack discussed
strategy and signals they would be using if the situation got out of hand. They
were to leave in groups of two to search different areas of the forest. Whoever
found the rogue was to howl for backup and if it was killed to howl twice and
meet at the location to deal with the body.
Everyone said their goodbyes and Derek sent Stiles of to bed. With a kiss on
the forehead he said goodnight, making stiles pale cheeks blush. He smiled,
waved and went upstairs to Dereks bed.
It had been about two hours since everyone had left. His mind was busy with
thoughts of Derek. He was glad somewhere in the back of his mind that Derek was
distracting him from the pain. He was also a little worried that his crush for
Derek was back and on full blast.
When stiles had first met Derek he developed an infatuation with the guy. He
was the center of his wet dreams. But he knew, just like he knew with Lydia,
that he was out of his league. So just like he did with Lydia, he put it in the
back of his mind to eventually he got over it.
It was close to midnight when he heard a howl, he got worried for a second, but
immediately a second howl followed. He sighed in relief and finally started to
relax and go blank. He figured it would take the guys a few more hours to
dispose of the body. So he was set on going to sleep.
Minutes later he heard what he assumed was the front door open and close. No
noise was maid, until he heard the steps on the stairs, which made him kind of
nervous.
“its me silly, don’t need to panic now.” Derek said entering the room
Stiles sighed with relieve and relaxed again.
“I thought you guys would take longer to dispose of the body.” Stiles confessed
“the Argents are taking care of that for us, and everyone else went to Jacksons
for the night. They didn’t want to disturb your rest.” Derek said while taking
off his shirt. Stiles didn’t question it.
Even In the dark of the night stiles could see the shape of dereks body which
made him nervous. He had seen the man shirtless and half naked 20 million
times, but tonight was different, because Derek was getting down to his boxers
and going to sleep right beside him.
“calm down, everything went fine, no one got hurt.” Derek said thinking that
was the issue
 “I’m fine, I’m not worried, it must be the medicine making my heart speed up.”
Stiles said, the latter being a lie that Derek saw right through. Derek didn’t
say anything though.
Stiles faced out towards the window as Derek went into bed beside him. He
closed his eyes tightly and said goodnight to Derek. Derek didn’t reply. Then
he felt dereks hands on him. Derek adjusted stiles on top of his chest just
like he had done it earlier in the day. Stiles was surprised but didn’t argue,
he liked it. And Derek could smell that he liked it, so they snuggled together
and falling asleep moments later, just like they had done hours before.
❦❦❦❦❦
The next few days were really tough on stiles, to his luck, he always had Derek
and sometimes a few of the pack members next to him. His mood didn’t shift very
much, it was always sadness, followed by guilt and anger, then back to sadness.
The only time his mood went neutral or nearly happy was when Derek held him
close. Which was happening a lot more often now.
It was making both of them happy, even stiles without werewolf senses could
tell the shift Derek had. He was actually smiling around the rest of the pack.
The fist time Scott saw Derek smile was during training. Scott thought he was
hallucinating and lost his balance and fell from the tree he was in. which made
everyone laugh out loud, even Derek. When this happened, everyone rushed to
Derek to inspect him. They all thought he was under the influence of some sort
of wolvesbayne.
It had been about a week since stiles last breakdown. He was doing a lot
better. And he was growing closer and closer to Derek with each passing day. He
hadn’t spent one single day apart from Derek since the event. Even when he ran
in to the forest without saying a word, he knew Derek would be right behind.
Derek always knew what to do or say to make stiles calm down.
Derek felt that today was gonna be a day where he would have to pull all of
that he had gathered in the book that stiles was to make him feel better. It
had been a month since the accident, he could hear Stiles pacing upstairs. He
could smell the worry, sadness coming off of him. With the intensity of the
first day it had happened, but somehow he remained contained.
Stiles didn’t know what he was worrying about, he just was. He knew he only had
a few hours to get ready to go for the visit. He was already dressed and
everyone was downstairs waiting.
The drive was quiet, then again stiles had stopped rambling and over sharing
ever since the event. Everyone was focused on his every move, but he was too
busy in his own mind to notice.
They finally reached the cemetery. One by one everyone gets out of the car and
gets together at the gates, stiles runs ahead. For once, Derek thinks its best
not to follow, to give him a second alone.
“He is very well put together today, I thought he’d be more of a mess” Lydia
says
“you can’t tell, but he really is a mess, I don’t know how he is holding back
so much, I can smell the sadness” Jackson replies to her grabbing her hand.
There are a few minutes of silence, everyone is looking at the floor not really
knowing what to say. Then scott breaks the silence.
“let go, I think he’s been by himself too long already, we need to be with him
today.” Scott says.
Derek nods and steps ahead, everyone else follows behind. They come to meet
with a stiles thats kneeling in front of both of his parents graves. He raises
from the ground and turns to the pack.
“Can we go?”Stiles says
“but we just got here, are you sure?”Derek says
“Yes, I don’t want to be here anymore” He replies
There is a collective sigh, then everyone proceeds to leave the flowers they
carries on the graves.
“sorry for the trouble, I Shouldn’t have made you all come for nothing” Stiles
says as they walk back to the car.
“we are here for you, you don’t have to apologize for anything.” isaac says
placing a hand on Stiles shoulder and quickly removing it because of the gaze
stiles gave him. No one else seemed to notice.
The drive back was just as quiet as the drive there. Everyone got to the hale
house and sat around in the living room not really knowing what to do with
themselves. Stiles went upstairs and derek followed after. Everyone else stayed
behind.
Stiles walked in to dereks room and began to grab his clothes, placing them on
the bed on a pile. He was packing. Derek entered the room and stared for a
second in confusion.
“Are you alrigh..” derek said, stopping himself.
“I mean, how are you holding up? Do you need anything.” Derek added
“i’m fine, I think I just need some time alone.” Stiles said
“alright, do you want me to take you somewhere?” Derek says
“Actually, yes. Can you drop me off at my house, I’ll be staying there
tonight.” Stiles replies
“ok, let me grab a few of my things and we can go.” He replies
“no, its fine, I’ve already put you through enough trouble. And I really just
want to be alone, I’ll be ok by myself.” Stiles said
Derek didn’t question it, he just nodded and went downstairs. He didn’t want to
make stiles upset.
Everyone left and they were finally on their was to the Stilinski house.
“are you sure you want to stay there by yourself? I can stay downstairs if
you’d like” Derek says
“no, its fine.”
Derek just sighs, he wishes he could change stiles mind, but he doesn’t want to
push it.
Stiles walks up to the house and waves derek goodbye. Derek get out of the car
and walks up to stiles. He wraps his arms around stiles, he doesn’t get a hug
in return. Stiles looks at him in the eye and turns to the door, he enters the
house and closes the door behind him, leaving a confused wolf outside.
Stiles walks around the first floor of the house, room by room, he traces his
fingers agains the dusty tops of surfaces his hands can reach. Then he carries
on upstairs and walks to the end of the hall to his fathers room. He stand
there for a few moments and turns back and into his room and closes the door
behind him.
He goes through his things and puts some stuff in a pile he tells himself he
will throw away later. He goes on his computer and tries to get some
distraction watching videos and reading on on things he’s had saved. Ater a
while he gets tired and gets ready for bed. Before getting in bed he pokes his
face out the window. Not to his surprise he meets a pair of red eyes across the
street in the forest line.
“go home derek, I’ll be ok” He says in a normal speaking voice, knowing the
wolf can hear him.
He gets a text:
Ok, but call me if you need anything -Derek
“goodnight Derek” he says
The eyes disappear into the dark, followed by another text message
Goodnight -Derek
Derek couldn’t really help himself so he spends the night close to stiles
house, just close enough to hear if there was any disturbance. He kind of hoped
there would be, just so he can go see stiles. To his luck he hears a struggle
and hears stiles heart pick up.
Derek runs to the house and jump to the roof, landing in front of stiles
window. He tries pushing it up but its locked. He feels the fright stiles is
giving out, so he just breaks the window and goes in to find stiles on the
floor.
Derek approaches him quickly and picks him from the ground. The sheets wapping
stiles body slide off to reveal his almost naked body.
Stiles doesn’t say anything. His eyes were open wide staring right back at
derek. Derek only looks back in confusion, then he realizes the scent that has
filled the air is no longer fright.
Derek still has stiles In mid air, one hand wrapping around his lower back the
other behind his neck. He feels stiles hand reach in through his shirt, the
other wrapped around his neck to pull himself up to dereks face. Stiles lips
barely touched dereks. Derek didn’t move for a second, stunned from the
surprise. Quickly he moved stiles to his bed and pulled the over over him.
“I’m…. I’ll see you tomorrow, go to sleep. And sorry, about the window.” Derek
said and before stiles could open his mouth he was out the window.
This time derek did go home, running through the forest in his full alpha form.
He was confused yet he knew what had happened, stiles had made a pass at him.
He wanted to reciprocate, he did, a lot. But he couldn't bring himself to,
specially since he felt like he he would be taking advantage, because of the
situation and the emotionally unstableness stiles had been going through.
Still, the want was there, it took everything in him not to turn back and take
him, it took everything in him to not let his wolf claim the young man.
As derek finally made it to his house, his wolf calling him weak for not taking
on the young man. But then again, his wolf was just really another side of
himself, so he was just making himself feel bad. With all the turmoil that was
going on through his head as he finally laid in bed, he wondered how he was
gonna deal with stiles tomorrow.
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